W E N S H A N

til now, i still don't believe.
i ask myself a thousand, a million whys
even though deep in my heart,
i know that there will never be an answer.

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN.

i yearn to scream out to you in the hope that you will wake up
so all this will just be one helluva nightmare.
it kills me to only be able to rely on internet sources for news,
right from the moment it happened on friday evening.
even then, i had to rely on someone telling me via msn.
i hoped, wished and prayed with all my heart the entire weekend
but the moment i got a text msg confirming all doubts, i broke down.

life is so unfair.

the last time i complained about life being unfair,
i was stressed out juggling things thinking nothing could be worse.
i never thought that the next time i say it,
it would make all my previous problems seem so damn foolish and immature.

right now, it hurts to know i am unable to even be physically there to say a final goodbye to you.
i can't stop the emotions and don't know how to handle it.
i have been full of anguish, probably everyone has been.
it's so hard to find a way to let those tears go,
and to find peace and comfort in my heart and soul.
then i chanced upon this poem,
which i now dedicate to you,
and to anyone searching for their own peace and comfort
amidst the pain and tears.



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* R A I N B O W S *














I saw a rainbow in the sky,
it stretched from here to there,
spilling colored rainbow drops,
as it arced right through the air.

I tried so hard to catch it,
so I could send it on to you,
But every time I came near,
it disappeared from view.

I wish you could have seen it,
and all it's multicolored hues,
I could tell you all about it,
but words just will not do.

A picture comes a little closer,
to doing justice to the sight,
so I am sending one to you,
to make your day seem bright.

Seven colors in the rainbow,
seven wishes from me to you,
love and hope, joy and peace,
faith, strength and serenity too.


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wenshan, i've never called you boon san.
we met eons ago, 7 years to be exact.
we share a special story only known to us
and this friendship, though short,
has memories which will last forever.

rest in peace,
& know that you are greatly missed, cherished and always remembered...

■ jiayun ■